Healing words: Writing an Apology Letter to Yourself

Embracing the power of Apologizing to yourself requires compassion to let go of Self-Criticism, a toxic element that we permit to linger in our minds, impacting our well-being.

We often prioritize other's needs over our own, consequently putting ourselves last. But where did this self-sacrificing mindset come from? Our tendency to be overly critical of ourselves stems from upbringing, societal pressures, and past experiences.

A self apology can feel a bit awkward at first, but it is a private and necessary act. It's not something to be embarrassed about either, but rather a courageous step towards healing and growth. Remember, you are your own toughest critic, beating yourself up for making mistakes or living up to your potential. Extend kindness and compassion to yourself, just as you would to a friend. By doing so, you'll release the weight of self-criticism and create space for self-love, forgiveness, and growth.

The Trouble with Self-Criticism

When mistakes occur, our inner dialogue can be harsh: "I could do better, I'm so stupid, I'm a failure, I'm not doing enough" This voice isn't ours; it's the lingering echo of past criticism, often from those who didn't understand the harm their words caused. We internalized their negative messages, and now we need to break free from that pattern.

Self Criticism Leads to:

• Emotional exhaustion

• Low self-esteem

• Paralyzing self-doubt

• Anxiety & Depression

• Headaches, Fatigue, & Insomnia

• Self-sabotage, Procrastination, & Perfectionism

  The list goes on...

Give Yourself Some Grace !

The common saying goes, "Comparison is the thief of joy", yada yada yada but let's take this seriously. Comparison really is the thief that steals in the night. Social media does a great job amplifying this issue, and to top it off that endless scrolling you might be doing on social media isn't making it any better. Do not be fooled by those highlight reels, everyone has their own journey to success. Focusing on personal growth is key. It's not about how fast you reach your destination; its about getting there By Any Means Necessary.

Don't rush; lasting results require patience. Your subconscious mind is in the driver's seat of your life, so let's reprogram it for Success. The subconscious mind plays a crucial role in shaping our thoughts, emotions, and actions. To really move forward, you must address the things that are holding you back and replace them with habits that actually help you.

You already have everything you need to achieve your goals and live a fulfilling life.

It's ok to feel afraid - just take the first step.

The Root of Negative Self-Talk

This negative self-talk may have stemmed from our parents comparing us to other children who performed better, or even our teacher, Yes, it is ok to blame your parents for not knowing better, because their job is to instill confidence in their child. This is a critical point in parenting because their voice becomes your inner critic as an adult.

Take a moment and write down all the negative things you have said about yourself.

Now write down all the negative things your parents have said about you. You may notice a pattern.

“Don’t talk bad about your parents! They raised you! They didn’t know better!”

Ah, Of course, the never ending worship of the God-like parents that can do no wrong. Yes, it is true they may have not known better and they should be respected but that doesn’t mean they should be excused for the mistakes they've made. It is their job to guide you through this life & to teach you tools to be a great person. Many parents struggle to parent effectively, often due to their own upbringing, but now it's your turn to relearn and grow.

Negative self-talk often originates from childhood experiences. Parents, though well-intentioned, may have unknowingly planted seeds of self-doubt by comparing us to others or criticizing our performance. Teachers may have also played a role. It's essential to acknowledge that parents, as our primary caregivers, have a significant impact on our self-perception. Their words can become our inner critic, influencing our adult lives. I made some changes to improve clarity, tone, and flow. I also rephrased some sentences to make them more concise and gentle. Let me know if this version resonates with you! Please go ahead and share the second part of your paragraph.

Here's a refined version of the second part of your paragraph: While it's true that parents deserve respect, it's equally important to acknowledge that they're not infallible. As caregivers, their role is to guide and equip us with essential life skills. However, many parents struggle with effective parenting due to their own upbringing or limitations. Now, as an adult, it's your opportunity to break free from past patterns, relearn, and grow. I made some adjustments to improve clarity, tone, and flow. I also rephrased some sentences to make them more concise and assertive.

Writing an Apology Letter to Yourself

• I am Sorry for not standing up for you when you needed me most

• I am Sorry for allowing other's to influence me when I knew better.

• I am Sorry for punishing you when I was not perfect.

• I am Sorry for blaming myself for how other’s treated me.

• I am Sorry for putting others needs before mines.

• I am Sorry for hurting myself when I was sad.

• I am Sorry for not Loving Myself Enough

Acknowledge the past hurt by offering kindness, understanding, and forgiveness to yourself.